You’re sick? Stay your A$$ in bed.

Okay, it’s that time of year.  We all partied and ate poorly and we have epic New Years resolutions that we’re ready to start (sure) BUT somehow, we’ve ended up sick.  I wonder why??  Well, considering I just spent the last 36 hours in bed and now feel infinitely better, I’ll give you a run down of some of my favorite remedies for….


First off, if at all possible, stay your ass in bed!  Don’t be a hero, work will go on without you.  Set yourself up with some serious fluids and netflix and hunker down.

Elderberry– you can get it in pills, extract, or syrup.  A great lung tonic.  Helps with cough.

Hot Toddies- whiskey, lemon, and raw local honey in hot water.  Kills germs, tastes great, soothes throat and knocks you out.

Chicken Soup-  Duh.

Apples and Pears- both are great for clearing congestion and giving you a little fiber when all you are eating is soup

Onion Steam-  chop up an onion (skin on) and put it in a bowl of boiling water throw a towel over your head and breathe it in.  SUPER soothing to the sinuses and also helps kill infection and clear nasal congestion.  (clears your pores, too)


Dairy. Beer. Pasteurized orange juice  (all increase mucus production)

Massage ( I know your body hurts, but it can push infection deeper into lungs) instead, have someone (preferably a sexy someone) pound on your back, this breaks up phlegm to help you expel it.

Neti Pots   Okay, I am usually a fan of neti pots, but when you have a nasal infection, you can end up pushing it deeper into your sinuses and/or introducing new bacteria.  Save it for allergies, stick to the onion steam.

Gatorade-  I used to love it, shoot, I’m from Gainesville after all (Go Gators!) but now its full of garbage. Get your electrolytes from some delicious coconut water.

Hope these help!  Oh, and monkeys.  Monkeys always make you feel better.




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